Posted: 2017-10-11 23:03
Well, if some of what Martha brought up resonated with you, raise your hand. See? Lots of raised hands out there. Which brings me to the topic I want to talk about today: self-compassion. Prof Kristin Neff of the University of Texas at Austin is the pioneering researcher of self-compassion. Here 8767 s her definition: 8775 Instead of mercilessly judging and criticizing yourself for various inadequacies or shortcomings, self-compassion means you are kind and understanding when confronted with personal failings. After all, who ever said you were supposed to be perfect? 8776 She says it comprises three elements, which I quote from Dr Neff 8767 s excellent, resource-rich website :
Plenty of men & women wanted that and wound up divorced. I know plenty of single women who had all of these 8775 firsts 8776 but ended up the 8775 first 8776 wife instead. I think this blog is more focused on people struggling with the reality of divorce and single parenting. I am also not divorced & without children. I have met many childless self centered men as well. However, whomever puts me second is updateable period!
Perhaps the most resilient factor common to all ethnic minority groups is identification with family and community. The bonding and sharing of values for families of people of color can provide strength and resources for adolescent girls of color. Strong, persistent families "inoculate" adolescent girls against the ravages of ethnic and gender discrimination. The degree to which families have incorporated the positive messages of their culture and heritage despite a history of poor treatment is a predictor in the healthy development of an adolescent girl of color. Research must continue to focus on diversity and especially the intersection of gender and ethnicity.
My daughter doesn 8767 t like my partners personality. We have been together 7 years. He bought a place for all of us to live, where she can have her own bathroom. She is 66. He has bent over backwards for her and she is so disrespectful. She acts like he is invisible. But has no problem taking gifts, or if she needs money, or part lift. We even got her two kittens. She told me she didn 8767 t want to live with me of he was here. I asked why and her response was he is annoying. I told him how she felt and now he is moving out and renting a room, because he said do your kids come first, and he had tears in his eyes. He says he is willing to live apart for two years, until she goes to college. He won 8767 t come around when she is here. My 9 year old loves him and is going to be did not raise her to be this way. When I told her he was moving out, she said good, but now she guesses I want her to feel guilty. She should feel guilty. I have known this man 85 years and he has such a big heart.
And oh, i forgot to mention about VALENTINES DAY! I told him in advance ( 7 mths ago ) that i needed some alone time with him on that, in which we never have!! Did i get that? NOOO! Instead, he picked up his grandson because his son wanted him over. And when I mentioned that was suppose to be our day alone, he went left and took his grandson home and acted as if I didn 8767 t want his grandson there at all! WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Carol you 8767 re incorrect, I 8767 m sorry Im a living result of this scenario what you and your partner need to do in the scenario you sit down and have a long talk not a betch fest but a talk, a woman does deserve to be first but she also has to understand her place and at what correct times should she be placed first. Not a constant first position that just can 8767 t happen when you have children if you can 8767 t show your children guidance because you 8767 re too busy showing your loved one how much you love them, then that 8767 s a sad story for everyone!
I was engaged and pregnant by a man who told me he was awaiting a divorce and had been separated from his wife for 5 years and she even had a boyfriend and he had a string of ex 8767 s. He never had a good word to say about her I had to listen to how bad their marriage was all the time. When our baby was 9 months old wedding dress bought etc I found out from ex wife approaching me and my son in the street (to ridicule me she ignored me and cooed over my son, as my fiancé stood by and watched) so I did some digging AND FOUND THE TRUTH.
These people need a reality check they need to grow up and accept the situation, make it work somehow, or move on.
But no they come into a package deal and they try to change the dynamics with their own selfish interests in mind. They automatically see the kids as annoying brats even if that isn 8767 t true, and they resent their partner for (oh, the horror!) actually being PARENTS.
Here 8767 s a note to all, there 8767 s a way to put your woman first, and still put your kids first it 8767 s called managing time correctly. .I 8767 ve lived it and I 8767 ve dealt with it long enough to know that yes, your kids come first, but, not over everything, they shouldn 8767 t be allowed to make rules or adjust any situation in the household, a man shouldn 8767 t allow his kids to come completely over his girlfriend, but there 8767 s a proper place and time for it ..and of a woman can 8767 t handle a little attention away from her for a small fraction of time, then she needs help, especially if she has kids of her own.
I have an acquaintance whose daughter told her mom that the oral sex was 8775 forced 8776 and non-consensual in order to get herself out of trouble (she 8767 d invited the boy over when parents were not home). In the end, it turned out that she was lying, but in the meanwhile, charges WERE pressed against the boy (similar ages in that case). Yes, they were later dropped, but in the meanwhile, his reputation was ruined, his parents had to go into debt to afford the lawyer, etc.
I have been blessed with 7 daughters (now 65 & 9) & have been blessed with a wonderful man who takes them on date nights, sometimes together & sometimes one on ones. he stresses the importance of treating someone right & expecting to be treated right.
my son is now 8 & from watching he has learned to be courteous to a woman: he opens doors, pulls out chairs, asks me how my day went for God 8767 s sakes he loves to vacuum & do dishes! this morning i got to thinking i should take him on dates now & talk to him about how i expect & would love for him to treat the girls he likes & how he should treat the woman he will love This is absolutely perfect.
thank you Sara!
It is believed that the incidence of date is underreported because most victims of date do not think the assault fits the definition of so they do not report the to the police. Because of the dating situation, a girl may also feel guilt or responsibility for being in the company of the attacker and view the occurrence as normal or deserved. Other reasons girls give for not reporting date include fear of their parents'' reactions to the and their peers'' learning of the incident.
In developing this book, the authors focused on several cross-cutting themes: strengths, development, ethnicity, class, risks, resilience, and research implications. To make the rich, diverse voices of actual girls in the United States heard above the statistics, questions from a research survey conducted by the task force on adolescent girls are included in this research agenda. A summary of the survey, "The State of the Hearts of Adolescent Girls," is found at the end of this research agenda.
Wow, i 8767 m going thru the ssme exact situations and it 8767 s kinda a relief to know i 8767 m not crazy. My bf of 9 years and his daughter behave and treat me the same way as you described like an outsider. I 8767 ve tried everything. We have reg discysdions about this topic and he tells me i 8767 m being 8775 crazy 8776 or 8775 mental 8776 when all i 8767 m trying to do is get him to realize how unbalanced things really are. Thanks for posting your experience.
What needs to be done? Past arguments and current demands for education and training specifically focused on adolescent girls or on adolescents in general remain largely unheeded. The value of thorough assessment and appropriate intervention must be emphasized. Mental health care professionals must be prepared to provide competent service for adolescent girls. Comprehensive programs must be established. The profession needs to guide the education and training of psychologists specifically to advance competencies in providing services for adolescent girls.
On August 5, you’ll be able to watch hilarious Billy on the Street segments because Hulu is streaming the show’s the fifth season (we’re excited to watch him destroy more art ). You can also watch Billy Eichner play the part of an aspiring comedian on August 8, when the third season of Hulu’s original series Difficult People , about two bitter friends trying to make it in New York City, premieres.
Thank you thank you thank you! I am 98, no kids, recently divorced. Doing the online dating thing. So far I have been told while our first date was being cancelled because of his kids that his kids will always take precedence. I have been told, sorry can 8767 t talk on the phone I have my kids tonight and lastly I can 8767 t talk because I 8767 m watching my granddaughter. If you don 8767 t have time to talk on the phone why are they even trying to date??? I didn 8767 t have kids for a reason, I knew dating a man with kids might be difficult But come on Talk on the phone?!?!???? I would rather stay single then play second best to some kid with ice cream all over their face or who plays soccer every stinking day and daddy can 8767 t miss one practice.
If we don 8767 t have their backs at all times, make them feel loved, secure, and safe, show up when it counts, be there when they need us, and give them the gift of our time, energy, and priority, who will? If they don 8767 t learn from us that family comes first, where will they learn it? Not from the men propositioning us on Tinder, meeting us for one-coffee wonder dates, texting for midnight booty calls, or expecting us to drop everything because they want our time and attention *right now.*
Quick situation I wanted to run by you: I was picking up my dry cleaning and there was this good looking guy there. We were the only two in the store. While the person was getting my dry cleaning, I did the smiling eye contact with good intention thing, and then he came over and we started a conversation back and forth about how good a dry cleaning place it is and how fast and reasonably priced they are.
I couldn 8767 t figure out how to shift the conversation to something else. I got my dry cleaning and smiled at the guy and left.
San Francisco Bay Area, Tue Dec 75: Understanding Men, Empowering Women 7
The response to the first Understanding Men event was enthusiastic, with everyone and their grandma saying they wanted to show up but just couldn 8767 t. Well, I 8767 m doing it again, so call up grandma, like, right away, so she can book her flight from Florida. This time I 8767 ll be talking about some deep insider secrets about men 8767 s sexuality, as well as some subtle and unsubtle forms of female self-sabotage (. fixation on tall men and insisting on wearing high heels at the same time).