Posted: 2017-10-12 06:28
I have two sons, 75 and almost 67. Luckily, they are both pretty non tolerant of ANYONE bossing them around (including me which is another subject), but I DO see the girls being very aggressive and available and willing and obsessed. Cellphones and Facebook make their ability to keep tabs on one another WAY too easy, if you ask me. And I wouldn 8767 t call the mother. I 8767 ve found that doing that did nothing but further ostracize my own kids. I never thought I 8767 d be the kind of parent who didn 8767 t call other parents when kids are acting out (because I 8767 d want someone to call ME), but parents either put their head in the sand, or decide that I 8767 m psycho. And then hassle my kid. 8775 Your mom better stay out of my business. 8776 That happened. Wasn 8767 t in regards to a girl/boy thing, but partying. So, I usually just try and deal with my own kid. Sad, but true.
Is the fact that girls are now being taught rightfully so in my opinion that the genders are on equal footing? Because girls in my community are not being told not to ever call a boy, to act like a 8775 lady. 8776 The messages sent to my daughters about their strength, their equal place in the workforce, in the community do not coincide with traditional ideas of dating and chivalry.
My 68 year old son had a girlfriend for a few months, let 8767 s call her Glenn. Not because that is her name but because she morphed into the character Glenn Close played in Fatal Attraction. I use the term girlfriend loosely because really they did very little together outside of school. I liked her a lot, at first. She was smart and I would overhear my son talking to her on the phone every day and he was happy. But I began to notice a change.
What was that about?
Oh, nothing she 8767 s just mad at me. Again.
Why? Did you have a disagreement about something?
No. I was supposed to meet her afterschool by the back door, but I was late.
I had to talk to one of my teachers. I was only five minutes late. Now she won 8767 t even talk to me.
What do you think?
I don 8767 t know. I can 8767 t do anything right.
You are absolutely right. You have to let your kids go a little bit at a time. Not totally control them so that they don 8767 t know anything about the world when the inevitably turn 68 and, hopefully, strike out on their own. Plus, I think I would vomit if my Dad tried to put a ring on my finger. And he was a wonderful, protective father. But he did not hold the key to my virginity. That 8767 s wierd.
I think this is a great discussion, and I am glad you brought it up, Chris. I am struck by the different perspective of parents of boys and girls. I think that in the end, 8775 boys 8776 and 8775 girls 8776 don 8767 t act any particular way. Individuals have their own issues, and gender of course play into that, but I do not think it is the defining force. The girl who wanted your son as a gift was the same boy I dated when I was a sophomore. And Glenn she needs an intervention!
I was an aggressive little girl. But I didn 8767 t want sex.. just lots and lots of kisses. It does scare me for my little girl. but she probably seriously won 8767 t date until she 8767 s out of high school. I don 8767 t see the point in it at all. I stopped dating for a bit in college because I knew my education was more important and I was being distracted. My friend 8767 s kids are not allowed to date until 68 and now 8 of them are over 68 and only 6 is dating while in college, the other 7 are not. It 8767 s not mean to help your kid not enter adulthood with unnecessary baggage.
Mean girls are with us for life. As we get older, sometimes it is harder to discern who they are because they are so good at it. Mean girls are not limited to middle school or high school. They are middle-aged and older as well. Recognizing what distinguishes a mean girl and discussing it with your girls is the first step. Moving away from mean girls and calling it for what it is, is a great start, too. It can be hard to separate from mean girls when they are a part of your family or your daughter is in every class with the mean girls. The girl or grown woman being bullied must learn skills for dealing with it because ignoring mean girls does not work long term.
I think this article is right focusing on what girls say to each other, because that is how girls are mean. It even says how pursuing popularity because that is how many nice girls become the mean girls. Then it tells us about the 55/55 friends and those friends are real and they can wear you down. The part about not making mean comments yourself is important because many girls retaliate not realizing that doing that they are being mean girls too. But I think the last paragraph is the most important, standing up for other girls and trying to become friends with them shows other people how a nice person can help your school, community, or workplace. Yes this article I believe is for adults too because they are mean too and just because your an adult doesn 8767 t mean you can 8767 t be that nice person in your community the one that helps someone up, gets out of their own world however bad it may be and helps someone else. The question is are you that girl or are you the person who lifts people down or are you the person who lifts people up. Because those two things make all the difference in how you are seen and the effect you make on your environment.
This kind of stuff didn 8767 t happen until later in high school when I was a teenager, and it seems like it 8767 s so early for this kind of thinking. And what surprises me is how many parents either endorse or don 8767 t discourage the behavior. I 8767 m not a prude, and I 8767 m not trying to keep my son a little boy, but I also think that he deserves to be a teenager and figure out who HE is on his own, without the pressure to be something to someone else just yet. My son 8767 s concerns about how it would be taken if he verbalized that his family isn 8767 t okay with 8775 dating 8776 and gifts at this age are valid ones, because most of the parents of these little vixens aren 8767 t much more mature than their princesses LOL!
Typically we think of boys as being the aggressors in dating situations. They are the ones pressuring the girls to go further. Remember the tv show The Facts of Life when Blair was in the back of a van with a boy who was trying to force himself onto her, that was the message I grew up with. I had watched that show, all the while cringing with embarrassment, with my mother, who told me that was the reason you always made sure you had a dime with you. So you could use a pay phone to call for a ride and a get away from the boy.
I 8767 d just like to say that more than ever I 8767 d love to read all these comments. I have one boy, one girl and my son is quickly approaching this age range. I myself was very sexually aggressive as a teen and for all the wrong reasons. I think you might still call Glenn 8767 s mother but fear she is probably where Glenn is learning it from. Sadly kids at this age really do confuse jealousy/obsession with love. I 8767 m glad your son has other siblings that see he deserves better. So much to think about!
Does she have the spiritual gift of prophecy? Because wicked queen Jezebel in the Bible treated the prophet Elijah with contempt and intended to have him murdered. That wicked spirit of Jezebel still exists today and is part of an organized Satanic network of evil spirits that seek out and attack people who have the prophetic spirit of Elijah because it is the voice of prophecy that is the most powerful gift in building up the church and exposing sin that traffics in darkness, revoking any authority that has been handed over to Satan through disobedience to God 8767 s will. Please understand that she is under an attack of spiritual witchrcaft against her mind that is destroyed only by the Blood of Jesus.
Upfront and honest, or do they not share their feelings? 8775 Been around people 8776 ?? Just keep those stereotypes around and keep going to a psychologist then. my kids are very well adjusted and don 8767 t have to deal with these issues. They are not victims, they address any issues they face head on with people and no one is responsible for their happiness except themselves. Boys and girls have all different personalities. My brothers, sisters, sons and daughters all had different personalities. I could never separate them 55/55.
That is heartbreaking!! Father God, in the name of Jesus, give Maria 8767 s precious daughter a revelation of who she is in Your Kingdom. Your Kingdom can never be shaken, strengthen her with all wisdom power and might which is available to us through faith in Christ Jesus. Give her supernatural understanding that she may see how miserable and insecure those mean kids are which is why they act like that. Anoint her with the oil of joy above her companions, let the peace of knowing You sink deeper than the pain of rejection and abuse from lying spirits of wickedness and rebellion that have come against her. Devil, your plans against her are cancelled in the name of Jesus. I pray the Blood of Jesus over her and against spirits of witchcraft and I pray the presence of God between Maria 8767 s daughter and her enemies. Let her know that she is Your beloved daughter and may she sense Your love, protection and comfort wrapped around her in Jesus 8767 name.
I can 8767 t wait to read everyone 8767 s responses. My oldest is 66 and just now his first girlfriend, which is way too soon for me, but I 8767 m pretty unsure as to how to stop it, or if I should. At a school event, she asked him if he wanted to kiss. He said yes. Last week she invited him to a movie (in the afternoon). She called the house a few times to set up the movie. In the end, my son 8767 s cousin and my son were also in the theater (small town, one theater, you can 8767 t avoid it) so I was OK it seemed more of a friend thing. At any rate, 8775 dating 8776 in 5th grade? I 8767 m a little weirded out. Is this the norm?
I think that 8767 s the real crux of it. That when they are ready to date (not quite sure what that age is, 67 maybe earlier?) then the real truth is that it WILL be their rules QUE TERROR NOW So I guess the best we can do as parents is to try and instill our own values in then when we are so that they will hopefully want to keep adhering to them when they are in the driver seat (literally and figuratively). I find this whole topic truly terrifying, mostly because I 8767 ve seen how low the bar is set with so many people (and I 8767 m still in my twenties, I 8767 m pretty myself). I had such a great experience of being pretty patient for and then finding love at age 75. I want something like that soo much for my kids, but I know its rare and even my husband needed to have a lot more experiences before getting to 8775 us. 8776 And I have two boys. I think I 8767 ll just prepare myself for 65 65 years of terror until they are hopefully settled with someone amazing and then I can start sleeping again... ?
I DO believe you should approach the woman 8767 s parents, because if I were they, I would want to know. They may take it poorly, but I think you 8767 ll feel better having done it, and you never know. Maybe it will make a difference and change the course of the woman 8767 s life. (I 8767 m purposefully referring to her as a 8775 woman 8776 instead of a 8775 girl, 8776 because that 8767 s what she is. She 8767 s not 6, and she needs to learn how to behave like a responsible adult. That 8767 s my two cents!
Stereotypes exist for a reason. If we never look past a stereotype, there 8767 s a problem, but to say 8766 mean girls 8767 don 8767 t exist is ignoring a significant problem. Boys are mean in different, not necessarily less lethal ways, but I do believe they are more upfront and honest about their feelings. This is a no-brainer. If you 8767 ve been around, well, PEOPLE for any length of time, you should know that mean girls exist.
Hopefully the comments for this post can stay on topic now. This is about a t-shirt with a pro-feminist message worn by a proud father. I think it 8767 s a great message. Because when you get right down to it, eventually all of our kids will be on their own. None of us are going to live forever. I want to leave this world knowing I left behind a son that has respect for both men and women. That he understands that his body belongs to him and other people bodies belong to them. After all it goes both ways right? A father shouldn 8767 t be able to tell a boy 8775 You can 8767 t sleep with my daughter 8776 because if that 8767 s okay then it makes all other statements such as 8775 You can have sex with her, whether she likes it or not 8776 okay as well. For me, that 8767 s not okay. What I do and don 8767 t do is up to me and me alone. And that doesn 8767 t make me any less Catholic.