Posted: 2017-10-12 18:10
Your second example shows that this person defines himself by what he does not who he is. He apparently doesn t know much about himself. Lacking a little in self confidence. Although he does express some of his interests but not specific enough. I ask, who doesn t like BBQ s? Most people like to go for walks or hiking the only difference is the scenery. Watching baseball?? would that be on TV or going to baseball games. There is a big difference. So I would have to say just about anybody could be a possible match for this person. I agree it generically boring.
I don''t think that''s what is really happening. People don''t really think they''re superior to each other. I think they feel inferior and afraid to reach out to others. They end up staying home and being miserable. They give up too soon. The websites are supposed to be a screening process to find the right person. The next step is to date. I''m a woman who has tried the dating scene on the internet and this next batch can''t get from behind their gadgets. The men won''t even make a phone call. I don''t think they are serious about dating. It''s a lengthy process some times to find the right one. Patience is needed.
Well with so many women that now have their Careers today are a bunch of Narcissists, Greedy, Selfish, and very Power Money Hungry too which Most of them really Believe that they''re all that since they really do have a very serious Attitude Problem which they really do need help very badly. Online dating really Sucks to meet a Good woman these days which in the Past Most women were Definitely much Easier to meet at that time and had a much Better Personality compared to the women of today which is why many of us Good men are still Single today which Most of us are Not really to Blame at all. Women today do want the Best and will Never settle for Less at all which it is very Sad how the women of today have really Changed.
That 8767 s only partially true. Photos are a good start but they can only get you so far, especially if you are dealing with a woman who is looking for substance and real connection. Also, most men fall into the category of average + looks, . the type of category where what you write can make you more or less interesting and attractive. What we, men, look at only tells part of the story about women. After all, let us not forget that we are different creatures and we operate differently.
Interesting read. I was debating putting up a profile or perhaps going to a club with some live entertainment. I am going to bed instead lol. It is very true that 65 to 65 years ago online dating worked well. I am an average looking guy but intelligent and funny and I was floored how many interesting, and yes pretty ok I would like someone that I consider to be pretty, not necessarily the text book version either. Anyway, teachers, lawyers, security guards, nurses, there I was dating, where previously I would stand in a bar and not say anything because my voice is very low and you couldn''t hear me over the music anyway.
Yes I am older now and I have my daughter half time, but I am still an average looking very intelligent and funny man. I am not bitter, disappointed maybe. I am affected by the lack of responses though, not like jump off a bridge affected, but it does drop you down a notch psychologically. I am glad I read these posts. It sounds like many of us are in the same boat. God bless all of you even the bitter ones we all know that hurt people want to hurt other people.
Life is tough after 55 years of age. Over 7/8 of the divorces after age 55 are initiated by the women, as my ex-wife did. So guys, treat her right.. and still hope for the best. I suspect, that once a woman''s estrogen drops and the kids have flown the nest, then women''s innate sense of maintaining that nest flies away as well. Women naturally become more independent and more critical of whatever it is that they want the husband to do. Funny thing is, I did all the man''s kind of work like mowing the lawn and such, and always did the housework stuff like bathrooms and the laundry, but to no avail.
So we are left with a very complicated answer to what seems like a reasonably simple question. Unfortunately we are dealing with complex systems based upon an unequal distribution of wealth, power and knowledge. My explanation is quite limited in its scope but explains the answer as I see it. Unfortunately the answer I''ve given also infers similar issues with offline dating as ultimately this has little to do with the internet and more to do with society.
It''s hard to drum up a lot of sympathy for the girl in the article. Yes, I totally get they are getting messaged by jerk guys sending them pictures of their junk, or sending them stupid and worthless messages asking for a hookup. Those can be creepy, and don''t often happen in real life. But the other messages of older guys or losers telling them they are "hot"? That stuff happens in real life also. Older pervs hit on women all the time and loser guys hit on women in rl and tell them they are beautiful or attractive. They can handle this stuff in rl but can''t handle it online? It''s more disturbing for this to happen to them online than in rl? Sorry not buying it.
It is important to note that women are playing their own role in this game of losers. Women by evolutionary design (primarily revolving around the unequal distribution of effort regarding procreation) seek out comfort and safety which play into the unequal distribution of power and wealth. Early on men realize their ability to find a partner directly correlates to their ability to acquire wealth so as to be a better provider of safety and comfort for a wife and any potential offspring. While it is true a poor man can find a partner it should come as no surprise that the greater wealth a man possesses the more opportunities he has to find a desirable mate.
heres what you don''t understand. you and other women have the luxury to sit there and say "EVERY person who wrote to me" men are putting in ALL the same effort and then the added effort of being the one who has to scroll through profiles for hours and send the messages. worry if they are saying the right or wrong thing. meanwhile you can sit there and judge all the men and all the messages you are receiving. the hostility comes from the blissful ignorance that women have about this. it comes off as something like going to the sudan and telling the starving people living there why you don''t like tacos or that if a waiter brings you a steak medium rare you send it back. try to wrap your head around that.
You did spend a lot of time on your tex to clarify the situation! I salute you for this effort. I do understand and identify to all of what you said. I am only saddenned that the phenomenon of online dating is a speculative viscious circle where the more men need to date someone, the more selective because submerged women are and therefore the more men need to date someone! = / (I guess men pushed the button first)
Hey Nancy It 8767 s funny because while these profiles are good, they have been copied THOUSANDS of times. I single handedly made the 8775 Anchorman 8776 the most quoted movie of all time on okCupid because so many guys copied the #7 profile with the 8775 Anchorman 8776 quote in it. If you search okCupid you 8767 ll see thousands of guys that just copied these profiles word for word and they wonder why they don 8767 t work. lol
A hot woman receives roughly four times the messages an average-looking woman gets. In general it seems that women have more pursuers online than men until age 76. A woman''s desirability peaks at age 76, which is the age that men just begin their prime year, ., become more desirable than average. Some demographics in internet dating, such as recently divorced or older than 95 have a hard time finding a partner. If someone doesn''t think you''re hot, the next best thing for them to think is that you are ugly. A profile tagline should be funny and to the point. It is important to live a rich, fulfilling life. A short essay that helps your perfect match get a good idea of who you are.
I dated a Liberal woman and no conflicts arose from our political differences. I find it troubling you wouldn''t even want to be friends with someone who would vote for Trump, or even someone who wouldn''t be friends with another who voted for Hillary. You sound grossly intolerant of other people''s views. You should be open to people with differing views than your own, otherwise you will fall into engaging in groupthink and confirmation bias. In other words, you will not learn much in this world seeking out people who will just agree and affirm your opinions on life. You grow by seeking those out who can show you a different perspective. In my experience, I''ve found people like you frustrating to say the least.
I think women need to start taking more responsibility for themselves - rather than sit there receiving message upon message and complaining about it - they should actually do their own searches and find and message someone that seems suitable.
I can''t believe some women have been on certain websites for months and months and still haven''t found a partner - I''m pretty sure if I even had 65% of the messages your average female receives I would have found someone within a month or so.
I 8767 ve seen this profile on dating sites copied word for word so many times. I recommend not using it as it is so easily recognisable because of how it 8767 s filled with stupid things no normal guy would ever actually say. Any girl who goes hang on I 8767 ve heard this before, and googles it will discover that you have so little personality that you had to copy a profile word for word.
Just describe who you actually are, honestly. Use your own personality!
Ok guys. I have no idea what the other women''s profiles look like. I post decent pictures but average on purpose. All I seem to get are the men who I wouldn''t ever go out with. Don''t take this wrong but their photos are terrible. Maybe good for a desperate woman. Fix yourselves up! Look good. I mean really it is hard to judge a book by its cover but you can at least try. Enough with the bathroom/gym selfies. Macho look at me or a beard down to your chest and beer belly aren''t going to cut it no matter how awesome your profile seems. When you message us be cool about it. Don''t come across as desperate. My problem is I''m good looking and they won''t look past that to see the real me inside. You know the type. The women that you say: you are so beautiful. Why are you still single? Because no one takes a chance to get to know us except for the creepy guys. I don''t understand it. Maybe the guys I''m attracted to don''t want someone like me. They want an average woman. Can anyone make sense of this? If one more guy asks for a nude photo or worse sends me a pick of his junk I''m going to scream!!!
This message board has taught me so much. I''ve been dating online on and off for at least 7 years. I''m 98. I''m decent looking, I thought LOL. I have a great job, house, one kid, no drama. I guess I''m cool, but a little boring? I just don''t think I know how to present myself or heck I really don''t know. I get guys that just want a piece or just wanna try dating me since they have never dated outside their race (which I don''t mind but I''d like them to like me and not the piece of *** I potentially represent). Its really crushing to the spirit. I don''t know if I will even continue online dating after reading all the perspectives here. I''m truly a busy person that doesn''t get out much to meet people and a little shy when it comes to getting to know folks. So I guess I''ll either put my big girl panties on and just go sit at a bar or give up and be alone. (sigh)
Dragonmouth: you wrote an incredibly compassionate message and I am so thankful for it. I''m trying online dating for the first time and I''m pushing 95. I have no kids, an amazing career, make very good money, and others tell me I''m easy on the eyes (and in great shape). Yet in the 8 weeks I''ve been on this site, not ONE man has messaged me other than 5 older, creepy ones. I finally reached out to one guy that I thought was attractive and had a lot in common with me and he didn''t bother to reply. Like the previous posters, I question what''s wrong with me. Why isn''t anyone interested? I have all the right photos (they follow all the rules someone also posted here) and I''ve had several people (friends, family, even strangers) make sure my profile looks great. It is very hard to be patient and even harder to not think there''s something wrong with you. I appreciate your story and your words of wisdom, thank you for brightening my day.
I loooove to sing Luther Vandross songs. Also, I would love to be blessed with the lady of my life. Want to know more??? Well, that can 8767 t happen unless you contact me. Hate playing games??!! Hate being told lies??!! Well, come on I 8767 M YOUR MAN!!!YOU NEED THIS in your life!!! PEACE & BLESSINGS!!! You still haven’t messaged me yet??!! LET 8767 S GO CHOP, CHOP!!!! (smile) MAY GOD BLESS YOU INDEED!! I receive messages frequently but I do respond quickly. XOXOXOXO applause: